I was surprised that around 70% of jobs are secured through referrals, networking and connections according to Career Success Australia. If you have ever tried to get a job through LinkedIn with all the AI bots in the way you might believe this.
And this is just one part of the value of creating a strong network. Networking helps us learn, connect with clients and make friends. Apart from our parents, every person in our life was a stranger once. Meeting people helps us form relationships and connections. Evidence is showing us this isn’t just good for business it is also good for our mental health.
Most of us are rubbish at networking. We either avoid it completely or exhaust ourselves trying to be everywhere, meeting everyone, collecting business cards for people we forget we met.
I didn’t start The Friday Lunch Club because I love networking. The very opposite. I started it because I wanted to create something I wanted to attend. Where I wouldn’t spill my wine whilst trying to shake a hand and eat a canape.
Don’t wait until you need your network – that is too late.
Many people treat networking like a tap to turn on when you need it. When looking for a new job or when needing some new clients. We then throw ourselves at it hard and it is exhausting.
That’s not how to get the best out of it. A network is more like a garden than a tap. You need to tend it, feed it, give it attention when you don’t immediately need something from it. Otherwise, when you do need it, you’re standing in a patch of dead weeds wondering why nothing’s growing.
The unspoken value exchange
There’s an unspoken rule in networking: the value exchange has to be roughly equal. You can’t expect people to meet you, help you, open doors for you, if you’re not giving anything back to them.
This doesn’t mean keeping a ledger or doing favours expecting something in return. It means being genuinely interested in what others are working on, sharing knowledge when you have it, making introductions where it makes sense, and showing up when you say you will.
HOW TO NETWORK WITHOUT THE SOCIAL BURNOUT
Let’s be honest, networking can be tiring. Even the most outgoing person can feel wrung out after too many events, too many coffee meetings, too many conversations.
That’s why you need to be strategic about it.
Work out who matters to your goals
Not everyone needs to be in your network. Think about what you’re trying to achieve in the next year or two, then work backwards. What kind of connections do you need to nurture? Which roles, which experiences, which skills would be useful to have in your orbit?
This isn’t about being mercenary. It’s about being realistic with your time and energy. You can’t be everywhere. No point networking with marketers if you need to meet accountants.
Choose formats where you feel comfortable
I genuinely hate the standard networking event format. You know the one. Standing up with a glass of wine in one hand, a handbag over one shoulder, trying to juggle a canapé and a name badge while shaking someone’s hand. Usually in heels that are killing you. It feels designed to make you feel awkward.
That’s why The Friday Lunch Club format includes a speaker and seated lunch. It’s the environment where I feel comfortable. There’s a theme or topic to help the conversation along. You can have a proper chat with someone rather than doing that weird eye dance where you’re both scanning the room for someone more important to talk to.
It helps the introverts (and ambiverts like me). I hate walking into a room and feeling invisible and awkies, so at The Friday Lunch Club we try to make sure someone is always at the door to shake hands and introduce everyone to someone. No awkward standing-in-the-corner vibe.
But this is just me. Some people dislike the idea of sitting for a lunch next to a stranger. They want to work the room and meet as many people as possible. So, think about what format actually works for you. Breakfast meetings? Walking meetings? Small roundtables? Industry conferences? Online communities? There’s no right answer, just the right answer for you. And doing a few different kinds keeps it interesting.
Make sure it’s actually worthwhile
Before you commit to an event or a networking group, ask yourself if it’s going to be worth your money and time. Does it have the kind of people in the room you need to meet or learn from? Are they your kind of crowd? That’s not snobbery, it’s just reality. Chemistry is real. Networking can lead to beautiful friendships, not just business connections. If the vibe is off, trust that feeling.
Don’t spread yourself too thin
Meeting someone once rarely has big impact. Networking is a long-term game, not a speed-dating exercise. I’ve had situations where people have come back to me years after we first connected, and at the time I had no idea if that coffee was a worthwhile use of an hour.
If you’ve got a lot of people to catch up with, you can end up with coffee chat overload. Think about bringing two or three people in your network together. Make three coffees become one. You achieve the same thing, they get to meet someone new, and you haven’t lost three mornings to back-to-back caffeine sessions.
Always follow up with something useful
After you meet someone, follow up. But don’t just send a “lovely to meet you” message that goes nowhere. Give them something based on your conversation that has actual value to them. An article they’d find interesting. An introduction to someone relevant. A book recommendation. Something that shows you were listening and you’re thinking about what matters to them. This is where the real relationship building happens, not in the initial meeting.
Build it into your working life
Don’t wait until you need your network to start building it. Make networking part of your ongoing working life, not something you activate in panic mode. With each conversation, I learn something new. I grow from the exchange of ideas. I get challenged on my thinking. I hear about what’s happening in industries outside my own. That has value right now, not just in some hypothetical future where I might need something. If you wait until you need the network, you’ll always be on the back foot, playing catch-up, feeling like you’re asking for favours.
One last thing
Strategic networking isn’t about forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations or becoming someone you’re not. It’s about being intentional with your time and your energy, showing up consistently for the people who matter, and building something sustainable that actually adds value to your life right now, not just when you need it.
